Duck Duck Cougar?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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