I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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