My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
