The best revenge is premature balding
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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