he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
