i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
