Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
