oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
