she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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