i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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