ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You brought string cheese to the strip club
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
