I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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