I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Someone signed my nipple.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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