Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
