I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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