I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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