You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
