This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
