My boss' voice literally gives me gas
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
