We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
