You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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