And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
