Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
