it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
