What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
