Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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