Jerry, you need to find god
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
