dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
