Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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