FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
