the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
