I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
