My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize