So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
