u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
