we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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