They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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