dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
