I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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