I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
