how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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