I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
