There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
