some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
