So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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