Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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