he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
