SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
