i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
