Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you traded sex for a burrito?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
