what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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