i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
