waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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