i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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