Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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