When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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