why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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