I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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